A forward. I liked the part about "Hold on to the tree". It really makes sense.
I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.
One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.
My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, 'Bart, Hold on tightly.' So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.
I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, 'Tammy, don't fall!' And Tammy did... fall.
My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined.. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.
This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, 'Don't drop it!' Naturally, I dropped the ball.
My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper 'self-talk.' They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.
Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, 'Okay, try to drop the pencil.' Observe what they do.
Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, 'You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again.' Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.
The point is made.
If you tell your brain you will 'give it a try,' you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a 'no try' rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words 'I'll try' come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.
If you 'try' and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. 'Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite.'
People respect honesty. So remove the word 'try' from your vocabulary.
My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.
These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.
Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.
So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, ' I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc.. etc.'
If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.
Notice when you or other people use them.
Ø But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Ø Try: Presupposes failure.
Ø If: Presupposes that you may not.
Ø Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
Ø Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
Ø Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Ø Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Ø Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.
Examples:
Toxic phrase: 'Don't drop the ball!'
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: 'Catch the ball!'
Toxic phrase: 'You shouldn't watch so much television.'
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: 'I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!'
Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
For some peace of mind
Earlier post I had linked to Warren Buffets financial advice for 2009. Below one too is some good advice to make sure you have some peace of mind. I got it as a forward, however felt it is a good read.
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'
1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and uncluttered your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety.
If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible/Holy Koran/ Gita with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19 Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus '
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33 Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'
1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and uncluttered your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety.
If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible/Holy Koran/ Gita with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19 Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus '
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33 Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.
Warren Buffet's Financial Tips for 2009
We begin this New Year with dampened enthusiasm and dented optimism. Our happiness is diluted and our peace is threatened by the financial illness that has infected our families, organizations and nations. Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness and help them recover their financial health. They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies, forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.
Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future. This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each passing year, I grow wiser and not older. This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.
#Hard work: All hard work bring a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
# Laziness: A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.
# Earnings: Never depend on a single source of income.. [At least make your Investments get you second earning]
# Spending: If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.
# Savings: Don't save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.
# Borrowings: The borrower becomes the lender's slave..
# Accounting: It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.
# Auditing: Beware of little expenses; A small leak can sink a large ship.
# Risk-taking: Never test the depth of the river with both feet. [Have an alternate plan ready]
# Investment: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
I'm certain that those who have already been practicing these principles remain financially healthy. I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practicing these principles will quickly regain their financial health.
With Best Regards,
Warren Buffet
Friday, February 20, 2009
Should I buy Tata Capital Secured NCD- Non Convertible Debentures
Tata Capital announced availability of Secured NCD- Non Convertible Debentures. The issue opens till Feb 24.
Interest UP TO 12% per annum ( compounded annually ) for 5 years.
Should we buy Tata Capital's bonds or not ? Is it better / Safer than Fixed Deposits (FD) ?
Well to understand what is a bond, From Wikipedia
A Corporate Bond is a bond issued by a corporation. It is a bond that a corporation issues to raise money in order to expand its business. [1]The term is usually applied to longer-term debt instruments, generally with a maturity date falling at least a year after their issue date. (The term "commercial paper" is sometimes used for instruments with a shorter maturity.)
My take : (this may be fully wrong so read it at your own risk)
Buying bonds from a company (here Tata Capital assuming they are doing this for Tata Group) is like buying shares of one company. Investing in FD is like buying a mutual fund.
Well the benefit of buying a Mutual Fund diversifies your risk in to multiple companies, similarly buying a Fixed Deposit is like buying multiple companies' debt. So chances of loosing full money is lesser when investing in Fixed Deposit instead of bonds.
So buy the financial instrument based on your risk appetite. Personally I will not put my money in this bond as I am very risk averse seeing the current financial mess we are all in. OK one more point, I have already burnt my fingers in shares too.
Interest UP TO 12% per annum ( compounded annually ) for 5 years.
Should we buy Tata Capital's bonds or not ? Is it better / Safer than Fixed Deposits (FD) ?
Well to understand what is a bond, From Wikipedia
A Corporate Bond is a bond issued by a corporation. It is a bond that a corporation issues to raise money in order to expand its business. [1]The term is usually applied to longer-term debt instruments, generally with a maturity date falling at least a year after their issue date. (The term "commercial paper" is sometimes used for instruments with a shorter maturity.)
My take : (this may be fully wrong so read it at your own risk)
Buying bonds from a company (here Tata Capital assuming they are doing this for Tata Group) is like buying shares of one company. Investing in FD is like buying a mutual fund.
Well the benefit of buying a Mutual Fund diversifies your risk in to multiple companies, similarly buying a Fixed Deposit is like buying multiple companies' debt. So chances of loosing full money is lesser when investing in Fixed Deposit instead of bonds.
So buy the financial instrument based on your risk appetite. Personally I will not put my money in this bond as I am very risk averse seeing the current financial mess we are all in. OK one more point, I have already burnt my fingers in shares too.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
BJP raising the bar on Using Technology
Even though Mr Promod Mahajan (late) was known to be the techno politician, the BJP seems to have enough Internet / Technology savvy people around to guide the party. Most importantly someone there had the management skills to listen to those tech savvy advisers. Change is really sweeping the political class.
However we really need to see how much of an impact this will have on final results. I am afraid we as voters do not vote once we get in to a comfy zone (read as, become well off). Unless you are well off you are also not going to see this Ad (no internet access). That means these Ads for all you know will be seen only by people who will not vote. I could be wrong.
Hope all politicians really understand how the Internet and Technology can make our Rural masses world beaters and invest more in education and bringing technology to the masses in our country.
Good Luck for the elections !
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Get an ID card via India Post for Address Proof Requirements
Get an ID card that can be used as an Address Proof - via India Post. You can get it from your nearest post office for a Rs 10 (application form) + Rs 240(cost for card).
Check the below link to know about which post office you can get it from.
http://www.tamilnadupost.nic.in/psvc/adproof.htm
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Twitter is over capacity.
Twitter is over capacity.
Too many tweets! Please wait a moment and try again.
The above is the message I get for the last 5 days when trying to upload a profile photo. I try to access it around 11 AM IST (+5:30 GMT). Looks like the servers are very loaded even during asian time zones. Well the photo was just 25 KB and a .gif file.
After 5 days, I hit up on this post http://getsatisfaction.com/twitter/topics/unable_to_upload_new_profile_picture_over_capacity ; and tried uploading a .png instead. It worked !
Hmmm. what ever be the reasons, it worked.
I think .png is not a popular type of image being uploded by users and twitter may be segmenting load based on type of image used. That means, lesser load on their servers handling .png files ? Maybe .. maybe not.
Too many tweets! Please wait a moment and try again.
The above is the message I get for the last 5 days when trying to upload a profile photo. I try to access it around 11 AM IST (+5:30 GMT). Looks like the servers are very loaded even during asian time zones. Well the photo was just 25 KB and a .gif file.
After 5 days, I hit up on this post http://getsatisfaction.com/twitter/topics/unable_to_upload_new_profile_picture_over_capacity ; and tried uploading a .png instead. It worked !
Hmmm. what ever be the reasons, it worked.
I think .png is not a popular type of image being uploded by users and twitter may be segmenting load based on type of image used. That means, lesser load on their servers handling .png files ? Maybe .. maybe not.
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